Okay, so you’ve popped the champagne (or the sparkling grape juice 😉), and you have also popped the question to your Bridesmaids. They are excited. You’re excited. It’s all so perfect! 🎉 Right??
Fast-forward a little, and you start sending bridesmaid dress ideas, meeting times, and other wedding planning goodness…only one of your Bridesmaids has seem to go MIA. They are late to replying to your texts, returning your calls, showing up to scheduled meet-ups. What is going on?? And, more importantly, how should you handle this awkward and less-than-fun situation?
Many Brides find themselves in this predicament. It is hurtful and puts added stress on what is already a stressful planning process.
Here are 5 tips that will help you ease your way out of Bridesmaid Hell:
1) Enlist the help of someone
To help you wrangle your MIA Bridesmaids, enlist the help of someone and let them be the one to crack the whip. Ask them to do the phone calls and texts, placing them at the forefront of following up. Part of the duties of a Maid of Honor is to take stress off of the Bride — don’t be afraid to utilize your MOH to the max! 🙌
2) Calmly reach out to the Bridesmaid in question
If you do not have a Maid of Honor or you decide to handle the Rogue Bridesmaid on your own, make sure you address the situation calmly, yet firmly. Describe your expectations of her, if you haven’t already. Don’t be afraid to be specific in what you are asking of her. It may just take you making your expectations know to clear up any confusion. 💖
3) Give her a less important role in your wedding
If you can manage with one less Bridesmaid, yet you still want to have her involved on some level in the wedding, ask her to do a less important role. 👌
Some ideas are:
- Be an usher
- Pass out programs
- Make sure vendors are where they need to be (if you don’t have a wedding coordinator)
- Help Bridal Party get arranged before ceremony
- Make sure guests phones are turned off (if you’re having a no-cell phone ceremony)
- Man the Guest Book table
- Pass out sparklers, or bubbles, or rice for your exit
4) Find out if there is a deeper issue
Does she not have the money to afford the Bridesmaid dress? Or is she anxious about being in front of large crowds? There may be an underlying reason of why she is MIA. Is her absent-ness fair? No. But, knowing the “Why” behind her being an absentee may shed light on how you can handle the situation moving forward. 🙏
5) Kick her to the curb
If all else fails and she is still causing drama or is simply MIA – the last resort is remove her from the Bridal Party and the wedding, altogether. While, it’s fair that being in a wedding takes a lot of time and energy, it is also a privilege to be a part of your BIG DAY! She should be thrilled and willing to work with you in whatever reasonable way you need her to. If she is simply the center of drama, you don’t need that, girlfriend! And, if she is no where to be found, she will be just as absent on your wedding day. So, take the time now to kindly remove her from being a Bridesmaids. Let her know you can still be friends, but that it just isn’t going to work. Let her know It’s YOU, not me 😉